Personifying animals: Injured goose in West St. Paul says he’s ‘simply relaxing’

Also: Inver Grove Heights’ favorite bear may face misdemeanor

South-West Review police reports May 25, 2014

Inver Grove Heights

—  It’s always nice when a friend picks up the tab — except when they use your debit card to do it. An Inver Grove Heights man had a friend over to his apartment. They went to a West St. Paul bar, and had some drinks. The friend said he was going to pay. The man was worried the friend wouldn’t have any money for it, but, not to worry, the friend found a debit card on the bus, which he used to pay. When the waitress returned, she said, “Thank you, Mr. [last name of Inver Grove Heights man].” The two fought over the $49 charge, and were kicked out of the bar. The man reported the theft, but police weren’t able to find the friend (he has no known address).

— Next time, just bring the purse with you. Please. A South St. Paul woman reported her designer purse, containing $800 in cash, was stolen out of her van. Two purchases had already occurred at a St. Paul store when she reported her billfold stolen. Staff at the big-box store where her purse was grabbed didn’t see anything suspicious on surveillance footage. 

— Who knew there could be feuds over refuse? The owner of one trash hauler on May 8 called police to file a complaint, as he believed his competitor stole a trash bin from a resident – the caller suspected it to be some sort of vengeful act after a resident switched trash companies. As the homeowner had canceled service with the latter hauler, the former hauler thought he must have wanted to get back at him by taking a $200 trash receptacle. The accused competitor told police rather vaguely, “He is pulling a lot of stuff around here.” No charges could be filed because the officer couldn’t prove who took the garbage can or that the competitor had any intentions of taking it.

— Inver Grove Heights’ favorite bear may be facing a misdemeanor. A man called police early May 6, claiming THE black bear swatted down and destroyed his bird feeder, which was valued at $120. The offense was listed as a misdemeanor. The man said his neighbors near the 5800 block of Bradbury Court have taken photos of the bear the last few nights. There have been several other sightings of the bear around the city. Police advised the man to not leave out bird feeders or garbage until the bear leaves the area. 

— An Inver Grove Heights woman was arrested for a fourth-degree DWI, after crashing into another car late May 3. There were no injuries, apart from the damage to the woman’s Kia, which was leaking fluids. The responding officer smelled alcohol on her breath on the scene; she claimed she didn’t feel the effects of the few drinks she had had. The woman failed various sobriety tests, as she had trouble balancing and following instructions.

— A 40-year-old Inver Grove Heights man was arrested for a misdemeanor for assault he committed right in front of an officer. The man was intoxicated, and wouldn’t leave a bar, so the police were called. Once the officer arrived, the man started leaving, but stopped for a second to kick the person who had called the police. As the incident was in plain view of the officer, the man was quickly arrested. The man started bragging about his attorney friends who could get him out by morning. He was extremely intoxicated, and the officer had a hard time controlling him, due to his “10-inch, 100-pound size advantage.” Nonetheless, he was charged.

South St. Paul

— A report of an early-morning medical issue ended up being something completely different — and a whole lot rarer. A 27-year-old Hastings man had called the police May 20 around 3 a.m. The responding officer was told it was a medical call, but the man actually wanted to turn himself in for an active warrant for a contempt of court charge.

— A man called police the morning of May 16 to try and get a woman in trouble for stealing his sister’s car. The woman, of course, denied it, and the officer saw that the sister’s car was outside the house where the man and woman had apparently been overnight. The man continued to insist it was stolen by the woman. Regardless, the woman was still arrested, due to three arrest warrants she had against her in three different counties.

— If everyone in the police department knows you have a revoked license, what your car looks like and what you look like, it’s probably best just to take the bus. An officer saw a 32-year-old man driving while he was finishing up another traffic stop. The officer knew the man from multiple incidents where he drove with a revoked license, and knew the man had a significant history of failures to appear in court. By the time the officer caught up with the man, the man was out of his car and rummaging through his trunk. The man argued that the officer hadn’t actually caught him driving. The officer informed him that he was still under arrest, due to an active warrant.

— An auto shop employee reported a tow dolly was missing the afternoon of May 13. It was valued at $3,500, and had orange fenders, as all of the stores made-in-house dollies do. There was no surveillance footage to assist police.

— A stolen vehicle out of Freeborn County was recovered May 17 at about 9:25 a.m. There was no damage, and no keys inside the vehicle. Freeborn County authorities had local law enforcement check for the car owner’s wallet and subwoofers in the car, but the items were missing.

— A car window was found smashed near the trail access at Simon’s Ravine around 11 a.m. May 17.

—A woman reported just after midnight May 16 that her house had been egged. She told police she had no idea who would chuck eggs at her house, and that there was no one that was mad or angry at the family. There’s also been a history of ding-dong-ditching at the house.

— The best sales pitch can sometimes come from personal experience. A 43-year-old man — who works for an alarm company — is now apparently seriously considering adding an alarm system to his detached garage. On May 11, windows on his garage were removed, and items were rummaged through. Nothing seemed to be missing, except perhaps some peace of mind.

— In this round of family feud, contestants are drumming up ways to get people to pay their debts. Survey says tire-slashing and lawsuits are major point-grabbers. Two tires on a young woman’s car were slashed May 14. She believed her ex-boyfriend’s father may have slashed them in retaliation, because she owes the family $1,500. The woman had previously received threatening texts from the father. The family did confirm some retaliation: they’re filing a civil claim against the woman for the money.

West St. Paul

Animal calls
— Wait ‘til you get to the verbatim part. Someone reported a goose was injured the afternoon of May 16, and the caller was concerned that it wasn’t able to fly for the last couple of days. An officer “spoke with goose. Goose explained he was simply relaxing. Will be leaving shortly.” Ya couldn’t make this stuff up (even though it seems the responding officer did).  

— Someone rescued a ferret May 16 around noon. The caller was advised that police don’t deal with ferrets, but the Dodge Nature Center may be able to help out.

— Apparently a gun-toting 10-year-old isn’t a usual sight in a St. Paul suburb. Someone called the police just before 5 p.m. May 15, because they thought they saw a boy walking around with what appeared to be a shotgun. Officers found the kid and his parents, who said it was just a BB gun. The officer explained that someone called because they thought it was a “real” firearm.

— Someone called police dispatch early May 15, saying he or she “is a taxpayer” and wants to know why workers “can start pounding concrete at 3 o’clock in the morning.” The good question/veiled complaint was left unanswered.

Civil assistance
— This officer can add Craigslist bouncer to his resume. Someone had sold a couch through the online tool, but the buyer was dissatisfied, and wanted to return it. The caller wanted an officer to stop out during the return around 10 p.m. May 15. The officer advised the parties involved on the civil disagreement.

— A garage burglary occurred sometime overnight recently along the 900 block of Livingston Avenue. Reported early May 16, there was forced entry on the garage’s service door; multiple items were missing.

Drug activity
— This celebratory toking idea was, to say the least, half-baked. A caller told police there was a strong smell of marijuana wafting from a neighboring apartment. The man in the smelly apartment, which also had very loud music, said he and his friends were smoking a joint to celebrate a friend getting out of the joint. The report really said “jail,” but that pun couldn’t go unwritten.

Juvenile complaint
— Let’s just assume this is the same guy or gal who wrote the goose police report. Five juveniles were out past curfew after midnight May 17. Once they saw an officer’s squad car, they ran. “The experienced officer was able to get out on foot and outsmart the inexperienced youth(s), rounding up four of the five juveniles.” The boys were cooperative, and were warned about curfew.


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